Sometimes I think about my future home. It makes all my academic suffering worth it knowing that maybe i’ll be able to afford to have a home I love. A plus about living on the east coast is that it has so many beautiful victorian homes! I would love to own one that has been left relatively unaltered. One with a grand, winding staircase as soon as you walk inside. I would furnish the inside with antique and thrift finds. Nothing modern unless absolutely necessary. My bedroom would only have black, white, with hints of red and silver. My interior design would be out of this world believe me! I would prefer it to be secluded and sorrounded by dense forest. Somewhere cold too. I’ll never be a lone maiden in a dark castle engaging in vampiric romance, but a this is close enough. I still need to add css to this page I will after my midterms are over help me… Thank you for reading! Song of the entry: Bride in Deathtopia by Gille’ loves

I had my first organic chemistry exam today. The exam is online even though we take it in person, and it’s structured in a way that you instantly know if you got the question wrong or not. It was a nightmare for someone like me because I proceeded to spend 10+ minutes on each question asking myself if I was right or not. The first couple were all 100’s then I got one wrong by just simply misreading the question. Then everything crumbled afterwards. I proceeded to get most of the remaining questions wrong by pure anxiousness. When this happens my brain goes completely blank. Didn’t help that I was running out of time. Needless to say, I did horribly. Doesn’t help that I missed the first quiz. Then I forgot I had a meeting today. Luckily, the professor is nice and allowed me to reschedule to tomorrow. It’s for a senior level class on research. Earlier, she was surprised I was taking it because usually there’s a class lower classmen take before this… and it’s a senior class which means it a lot of work. I should have ran when I could, but now I can’t drop it. I’ve been so forgetful and it’s really bothering me. Sometimes, I really don’t think I can do all this. I’m only getting by because of some serious emotional repression, and pure luck. On a brighter note, my day instantly got a bit better because I found new music. Since I’m always listening to something it’s easy for me to find new things. Absolutely no one knows this, but one of the genres I enjoy is doo-wop. I feel like i’m pushing 80 because most people my age or even a couple decades beyond mine would not list this as one of their favorite genres. Anyway the song is Gloria by The Passions. Those high notes are so heavenly.

I’m writing this before my 5-8 physics lab which is as miserable as it sounds. I hope I can have some free time at the end of this week to draw and read. I'm thinking of picking up The House of Mirth again. I hesitate to share about my life online because I fear I may overshare, but I'm getting better here I think. I mostly write for myself so this is new. I hope whoever is reading this has a good day! Thank you.