helloo

i detail my road to a 515+ on the mcat (pleaspleaseplease please) okay no one here cares but I want to document something to look back on and maybe if any other premed stumbles upon my site this page can be helpful idk. no css sorry just pure rambling on a white background... :/


We are so back

ignore my crashout yesterday lol. but today i woke up and got right to work!!! I've been on it for about 2 hrs now and its only 10 in the morning lmao. also ive been working out this summer . i mean i already do via walking but that was mainly passive and quite frankly took sucj a long time. like in school i spent my day walking around campus trying to hit 20k.. now that its summer i cant bring myself to do that on my walking pad lol. i want a toned bod like im droooling over women with abs i dream of the feminine lean, toned, physique. the sleeper build. not too bulky but like i wanna look like i work out and not just being skinny??? does that make sense? and i think its been working??? ive been spamming crunches and russian twists and i can see some definition on my stomach. ive also been lifting... erm by lifting i mean the 8lbs weight i own but i have to start somewhere. i used to be super sore but not anymore so maybe i'll add more weights. Ive also been paying attention to my quality of food. i want to decrease my body fat and have some muscle mass. mainyl because since ive not been eating meat since like 10, my muscle mass throughout the years has probably been like 1% (not actually 1% id be dead but you know what i mean) since pre like 2026 me did not really gaf about protein intake. very excited for what ill look like 3-4 months down the line. delayed gratification final boss. okay back to doing aamc. oh and also then maybe i can use my campus huge gym they have that every single student has to pay in their tuition and its like 3k i think like wtf

I might actually kms

this stupid cash grab of a test. i took the unscored practice test almost a month ago. took fl1 today and i got the exact. same. score.... like the same amount of questions wrong its worrying because ive been studying for about a month now with no improvement and even on the psych soc section which i am good at i cant break 50/59+ questions right. and im starting to forget the shit i learned a month ago even with repetition and i literally need to move onto physics because i have yet to even begin to memorize and understand the topics. and literally everyone around me thinks this test is a walk in the park and my dad thinks that its so easy to get a 520+. what irritates me is that i know the concepts. i did the independent question pack and was hitting 80%+ on the ones i have completed. its just the stupid paragraphs and graphs and cars passages that dont even sound like im reading english and they have literal cognitive psychologists help in the creation of questions so that they can fuck us over even more. i feel super dumb lol. like my performance in school is not translating to this test and after a month of studying absolutely nothing of use came out of it. all the confidence i had last month is like mostly gone so maybe i should actually commit to eat (maybe), sleep (maybe), and study kind of life instead of studying for a while and taking a break for my sanity. and if i super duper want a 515+ next month for that dress i need to commit insane levels of self harm so idk ughh. i would push my test back but i literally have it on the last day of testing for this cycle so there arent any dates after... i need to restock on celcius... a lot of celcius i need a lot of celcius

hi

i canned my abt me page lol. i dont really like it anymore but i also dont have time to code. ive been studying for 3-10hrs a day since may and honestly rn im too deep into everything to get distracted. i think aside from my main page, i wanna redo everything else. i told myself that i would gift myself na+h if i got a 515 on my fl in july so im actually locked in because i want youuuu i neeed youuu

i have really pretty boots that ive been dreaming of pairing with this theyre like these style of boots

(i dont have a pic lol and im too lazy to get them out of closet edit** nvm here they are i forgot to say that they are velour so they match with the dress perfectly!! i need thisss... i need this so badly...also ignore how scuffed they look i jeed to clean them.

i feel like mine is better because its much firmer so it would suit this dress and also i got it on poshmark from a random lady who took it out of storage so i trust its durability lol. poshmark is literally where all the heat is at and i thank tne heavens that its more middle aged mom populated because i get so many good deals. and everyone is so sweet. actually i orginally bought these boots because i wanted to make like a kuro military lolita coord think yousei teikoku shadow corsp[e] look. i am obsessed with the album cover. that day will come... i think after i graduate and start my gap year (or two) i will have so much free time to dresss up. im only taking my mcat now because everything is fresh and i dont wanna be basically relearning everything a year down the line. the plan was to graduate early but my dad thought that i would fail out of all my classes. college is such a chore but oh well. since my school is basically a mini city it does feel stimulating at least.